(*Disclaimer - This is a real long one. Grab that coffee or get yourself a snack before you read this.)
I was sitting in my cultural psychology class on Thursday and we began talking about our journey back home to the United States. We discussed the term
reverse culture shock and what it means to us. Personally, I think the reverse culture shock is going to be just as rough as the original
culture shock, because even though I am going back to family, friends and a familiar environment, I have to get used to living back home without college. I can already see myself going back and questioning a lot of things about the U.S., just as I did over here.
Why DO we leave our lights on if nobody is in the room? Is it really that bad to sit down and enjoy a meal with somebody, instead of eating it on the go? If traffic is so bad in some areas day after day, is public transportation really not an option? These are just some of the questions I can imagine myself asking once I get back. A lot of people say you sometimes learn more about your own culture back home than you do of the one you are studying in. While I have definitely taken in a lot of Spanish culture, my eyes have been opened a lot more to the places I call home. Looking back on my life back home, since being here, has opened up my eyes to some faults in my own life. I definitely stress over things that are completely unnecessary and I take
a lot for granted, which I need to fix asap!
These four months have been an experience I will never forget. Not only do I have around 3,500 pictures to remind me of all the memories, but the friendships and people I have met will always be close to me. Currently, I am in such a great frame of mind. I feel so much more ready to get to San Diego and start job-hunting. I did a lot of self-reflection while I was here and I feel that my plans after college couldn't be any clearer. There are one or two aspects of my life here that I am hoping will make it back to San Diego with me. I don't want to jinx it, so I will just leave it at that. Family values have come into my thoughts a lot. My roommate and I are the minorities in our program, in that our homestay family really does count us as members of the family. Since day one, I have never felt like a guest in this house. Whether I am sick, tired, or frustrated, they have all been there to help me get through it. This is something I can never forget. I owe them a visit back to Barcelona, where they promised me I would always have a place to stay. Same goes to them in California. Absolutely.
If you haven't caught the drift of this entry yet, I decided this is going to be my last one. Here are some of the reasons why I have come down to this decision:
1. I still have 4 papers to write, 1 presentation, and 5 finals to finish in the next 2 weeks.
2. A substantial blog entry takes about 2 hours to complete each time (1 hr and 15 mins to usually write it with 45 minutes of internet issues to deal with).
3. I will have plenty of stories and pictures to share. That isn't a problem at all!
4. I realize (especially after my psych class on Thursday) that I blog mostly to keep everyone back home updated with my life over here. I really need to live in the moment for these last couple of weeks. This is going to be an overwhelming goodbye and one that I am not currently ready for. I will be home in less than a month, so I just need to focus on the time I have left over here.
Do I feel like I failed with this whole blog business? Absolutely not. While I have had my moments of slacking off, I feel I have given everyone a general view of my life over here. I don't want to go in too deep with trips or experiences. Some stories are best told in person....a lot, actually. Despite the craziness of the week coming up, I will still be documenting everything and treasuring the last 2 weeks I have here. I am actually surprised I kept up with the blog as long as I did. While I don't feel I have lost touch with people back home or have had an incredibly hard time updating friends, it is hard when you have to put your experiences into words, while telling the story and not going into too much detail.
Will saying goodbye to Barcelona be tough? More than I could've ever imagined. However, I feel that this is the best time to do it. I will be leaving a chunk of myself here to come back and visit in the future. I have made the most of the experience and have no regrets. I am going back home with different ideals and ways of living in the familiar environments I know very well, while coming back with several new friends all across the country. It's a win-win situation. I bet the next time I find myself in Barcelona, it will be tough not to be here with everyone that's here now and as time passes, things will inevitably change. With an amazing experience abroad, I almost don't want it replicated. Why re-live another moment in hopes of making it as incredible as the first, when the first was almost perfect by itself?
I will close the blog with this picture I found from September 1, 2009. This is a picture when Amy and I were about to land in Barcelona. I guess you can consider it my very first picture of Barcelona. While my camera skills have definitely improved, I can't help but remember all of the worries and fears I had when this picture was taken. Worries involving my homestay situation, classes, meeting people, traveling to other countries, money problems, getting lost in Barcelona, being away from home for 4 solid months, etc. I have overcome and conquered all of these. I did it. I made it. Thank you to everyone that made this experience what it truly was. I have never been more honest when I say this -
I will never forget this time in my life. There will never be another. Barcelona Fall 2009 for life.
See you all v
ery soon! d:-)
-Brent
